#23: Send date
Lowering off Flesh for Lulu after my second day working it.
I honestly don’t know how to pick a send date — or even if I should.
If yesterday was a PSA, today is an RFP. As of three days ago, I had done all the moves on Flesh for Lulu at least once. Does that mean I’m ready? I think so. But who knows, I could get back to the lower crux next time up and just botch it completely.
Has my finger strength held up? Have I built any endurance since then? I’m not sure. All I know for sure is I’ve lost two more pounds, which I’m not completely happy about. I was fine when I weighed 175. Last night I weighed in at 173.1, and at this point I don’t know if I’m losing fat or muscle on a diet of what is basically potatoes, vegetables, apples from the apple tree, and heaps of coconut and olive oil.
The last time I lowered down from Flesh, Ela told me I was ready to try and send. Just make sure you’re completely fresh, she said. But I’m not sure what that really means. Should I have climbed the day before? Should I have just taken a rest day? What kind of climbing should I be doing in the interim? Should I warm up before-hand? How hard a route?
As of today, most of my climbing partners are out of town or recovering from injury. The two out of town won’t be back until Wednesday, so that leaves me roughly three days. I could ask my girlfriend to come belay me on some climbs, even on Flesh if I wanted. But that would mean I would have to put up the draws, possibly get super tired, then wait for a while and try a send on the second go.
Or, my girlfriend belays me on some finger-strength building, endurance-type building stuff, and I wait until Wednesday or Thursday, when I can have someone put up the draws for me and leave me fresh to try and send on a first go.
Or, possibly I’m overthinking the entire thing. Which leads me to another line of questioning: how does one prepare mentally? It’s occurred to me more than once that picking a send date itself is fraught with pressure. Perhaps it’s better to let it happen with some serendipity — one of my climbing partners says one day, “Hey, how about we go take a run on Flesh?” and I all casual-like reply, “Oh hey, sure. Let’s give it a try."
And then I just crush it, without even thinking.
Obviously, either way I’ll be in my head. I’ve set this goal, I’ve set this deadline, and now there’s no getting around my own self-imposed pressure. In the final analysis, there’s really only one way to approach this: equanimity now. Equanimity now.